A time-out in an athletic contest
allows the players to get a brief rest and plan what they want
to do next. A time-out used by parents is a form of restrictive
punishment normally designed to get a child to think about a
specific behavior. On some occasions these parental induced
time-outs are designed to get a child who has been caught up
in too much stimulation and activity to calm down and rest. It
is also intended that the parent will do the same thing during
the time of enforcement.
My father never used time-outs as a punishment or as a behavior
modifier. Time-outs for my father and most of his generation
and the ones before his would have been seen as wasting time. And
time was never to be wasted. Idle hands, the saying goes,
would soon have you in trouble. There wasn't much
time for leisure; there was too much needing done in order to
survive. At one time the Protestant work ethic was famous
and applauded in America. Today that work ethic has fallen
on hard times in some circles. What is so ironic is that
many in those same circles are busier than ever.
This story's author is unknown:
Here lies a woman who was always tired,
She lived in a house
where help was not hired.
Her last words on earth were: "Dear
Friends, I am
Going where washing ain't done, nor sweeping,
nor sewing;
but everything there is exact to my wishes;
For where they don't
eat, there's no washing of dishes.
I'll be where loud anthems
will always be ringing,
but having no voice, I'll be clear
of the singing.
Don't mourn for me now, don't mourn for me
ever—
I'm going to do nothing for ever and ever.
It is certainly true that lots of people are exhausted today
or close to it. Jobs, children, activities and demands
are for many never-ending. Two income families, single
parents, the sandwich generation with both parents and kids to
care for, people working multiple jobs to barely have basic essentials,
small children in endless planned activities—where does
it all end?
The disciples of Jesus were also exhausted around 2,000 years
ago. They had just returned from their first mission trip. They
told people about Jesus and His message. They healed people
and brought them hope. They did not stay in air-conditioned
motels nor did they travel in luxurious style. They traveled
with what they wore on their backs and relied on the hospitality
of those they encountered on their journey.
Now they were reporting back to Jesus. He, too, had been
busy as well and was also grieving over the death of his cousin
and friend, John the Baptist. The popular following of
Jesus was rapidly growing. He was in constant demand. So
Jesus called a time-out. He wanted to hear from His beloved
friends. He knew they were both excited and exhausted form
their work. People were coming to Jesus in such numbers
that He and His disciples did not even have time to eat. Finally,
in desperation, Jesus and His disciples got in a boat to sail
away to a deserted place.
The crowds figured out the destination and beat the disciples
to the place where the boat landed. There were no security
guards or resorts with locked gates. When Jesus saw the
people looking for Him, He ached in His bowels. This
is a literal translation. Translators say He had great
compassion for them because they were so lost and needy. The
bowels were considered, at that time, to be the center of human
emotion. Today we would say that Jesus' heart went
out to those gathered before Him. The story ends with the
feeding of the multitudes in spite of there being very little
food.
On the one hand, Jesus doesn't offer us a very good example
of relaxing. At other places He even "works" on
the Sabbath. I suspect, however, if we knew the whole
story we would see that Jesus spent quite a bit of time in prayer
and in less demanding activity shared with His friends. This
story also shares another lesson for us, I believe.
When we are in need, God is ready and able to meet those needs
if we will allow it. Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:25-34
not to be anxious or to worry about the future. Concentrate
on the present moment. One of our problems is that we are
attempting to cram as much as possible into every moment. It
is almost like it's a sin to just sit quietly and enjoy
a moment of peaceful tranquility.
I have a theory that many people have forgotten or have never
learned how to really be with another person. One of the
major causes of divorce is many married people are simply too
tired or too busy or both to take care of basic necessities like
talking with each other. We are losing our ability to be
in deep communion with those closest to us because we fill our
lives with too many things because everyone else is doing it
and we dare not fall behind.
There is a story told by Richard Donovan that goes:
One
lumberjack challenged another to a contest to see who could chop
and stack the most wood in a day. The first man worked
steadily all day with no rest; and produced a large pile of chopped
and stacked wood. The other man worked steadily for the
best part of an hour and then rested ten minutes. He
did this every hour. At the end of the day he had an even
larger pile of stacked wood.
The first man was surprised. Frankly, he had considered
the second man to be a slacker for taking so many breaks—but
he had to face the facts, and the fact was the second man had
chopped and stacked an amazing amount of wood. The first
man asked the second one how he did it.
The man replied, "I spent a bit of my resting time sharpening
my ax."
When we are constantly engaged in activity we fail to sharpen
the tools that help us relate to God and each other. We
need to have someone give us a mandatory time-out. This
will sometimes happen because of illness or an accident. Often
these are caused by our constant activity and lack of proper
rest.
Jesus invites us to come away to a deserted place if only for
a few minutes each day. It is better when we can find hours
in a day or a day in the week or an occasional weekend or annual
vacation. Richard Donovan quotes the French mathematician
and theologian, Blaise Pascal who once said, "More than
half the world's ill come from people who cannot sit in
a room alone." I think he means people who do not
know how to take a time-out and who fight it if it is forced
on them rather than seeing its value.
We need to have a healthy balance of physical, spiritual, emotional
and mental activity and leisure. St. Vincent DePaul advises, "Be
careful to preserve your health. It is a trick of the devil,
which he employs to deceive good souls, to incite them to do
more than they are able, in order that they may no longer be
able to do anything."
Sometimes circumstances dictate what we have to do. However,
much of the time we really have a choice. It truly is up
to you to decide when you need a time-out and it is up to you
to use it wisely! |
